By Ashley Patek
To my girlfriends,
Remember how we used to take in a yoga class, followed by brunch - only to cap it all off with a happy hour? Yeah, me neither. Those days are feeling far, far away.
Fast forward to the present day where the text you sent me three days ago sits on my phone marked "read" minus a reply - unless you count the one in my head.
My lack of time for us has to be frustrating, and I worry that it might even hurt a bit too. At the same time, I know you get it because you've been there for me every step of the way, cheering me on as I stepped into a new world, swapping out my high heels for sneakers, and my push-up bras for these sexy little numbers with snaps for easy access.
Despite your patience, I want you to know something ...
I care about you, and I miss you. I miss us.
Honestly, I'm still trying to figure this whole mothering thing out, searching for my new norm and a thing I hear other new moms calling "balance," though I'm pretty sure this is a unicorn.
Most of my days fly by so fast that by the time things slow down long enough for me to do something for myself, like replying to your text, I'm too tired, so I crawl into bed without brushing my teeth instead.
Some days, my SuperMom cape is flowing and other days I am touched out before I've even finished my first cup of coffee.
I still have a lot to learn about being a mom and I am still figuring out how to fit myself into the equation. But I am seeing that it’s okay to take time for me. I am getting there, and I will get there for you, too.
I may have this new role of being a mom, but I haven’t forgotten my role as your friend.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel - a place where my intentions for reaching out to you actually solidify to action. Where I can shed the guilt of leaving my kids, shed the guilt of not being with my friends, and just be me. A beautiful, crazy mix of it all.
The horizon is near. Dinner dates are in the future, and yea, maybe, even that happy hour, too.
I promise my friend, I am coming back.
Thank you for your patience.
*** Ashley is a mama to three children; two boys and a daughter born to Heaven. She is an occupational therapist, parent educator, certified holistic lifestyle coach, and Chief Storyteller with Generation Mindful. Ashley is an education seekin', acai-bowl lovin', Sunday brunch-havin', free-spirited mama.
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