Mindful Moments Blog

Montessori Parent playing with her daughter.

Mindful Moments Blog

Montessori Parenting Techniques for Teaching Emotional Intelligence

What is so special about the montessori parenting style? Learn how Montessori parenting can instill emotional intelligence in your children.
Raising Sons with Expansive, Tender Masculinity

Mindful Moments Blog

Raising Sons with Expansive, Tender Masculinity

How one family took a stance against societal norms and a gender bias culture of "sameness". “So are we really going to do this? Let him go to school in the Elsa costume?” Lloyd and I had just tucked our kids into bed, and in the morning was Storybook Character Day at school.  Our youngest son is four, freshly four this month. We gave him the costume on his birthday after he asked for it. We want him to know without a doubt that we love him and support him, whether Elsa or ninja (he’s wanted to be both this year).  This isn’t a new conversation. Our boys have picked out Paw Patrol nightgowns, metallic gold leggings, and purple tennis shoes. We want them to have space to grow into an expressive, expansive, confident, and creative masculinity—or whatever gender identity is home. But suddenly I got cold feet when it came down to him wearing the Elsa costume to *school*.  That was a new step. My protective instincts kicked in. I imagined the possibility of kids laughing at him, saying mean things. Should we send him out there alone in this frosted blue, glittery dress? Into the classroom, the hallway, the cafeteria? Where we can’t shield him, protect him, affirm him? After all, even a few loving family members had a reflexive chuckle when they asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween and he said, “From Frozen. Elsa.” I think I just needed to speak my fears aloud.  Then and there in the laundry room with my husband, it only took me about 60 seconds for me to find my way back to my own clear answer. Yes, we’ll support him. Of course, we will. Because kids can laugh at you for anything—we can’t protect him from that. What he needs to know from us, his parents, is that who he is, what he likes, and what he wants matters to us.  We love him exactly as he is. So no, we won’t redirect him toward the dragon costume because I won’t risk sending the message that there are parts of him that have to remain hidden. I won’t risk sending the message to him AND to his older brother that what needs to be preserved is a culture of sameness and that being different is not a thing to be valued and celebrated.  Then something else occurred to me: when I imagined our 4-year-old at school—this child who is bold and daring and brave, this child who has gotten accidentally smacked in the head with a piece of errant, flying firewood and bounced right back up like a champion wrestler—I truly believed he could rock this Elsa costume without a shred of help from us.  I imagined that if someone laughed, that laugh might just reflect off of his shine, never even touching his bright heart. Because he was having the time of his life. Because he was Elsa after all, powerful and regal, running with determination into the unknown.  The next morning, he wore the costume. He strode right out of the car without a beat of doubt in his step. In the afternoon, his teacher sent out photos of the kids in their costumes. And there was our son, beaming with his arms around a few buddies. Relief for my worried heart.  At the end of the day at the dinner table, our son mentioned offhand, “Michael said he didn’t like my costume.” “Really? What did you say to him?” I asked, matching his casual tone. “I said, ‘I like yours.’” He scooped a spoonful of corn into his mouth and smiled. My child. May your bright heart shine forever. Check Also
4 Reasons Your Child Can't Regulate Alone

Mindful Moments Blog

4 Reasons Your Child Can't Regulate Alone

While it is often a hot topic and a buzzword, it turns out there are many misconceptions about self-regulation. Here are four.
Virtual Calming Corner

Mindful Moments Blog

Virtual Calming Corner Teaches Kids About Emotions Playfully

How do we teach social-emotional learning (SEL) to our children?
Time-Outs Affect The Developing Brain

Mindful Moments Blog

Time-Outs Affect The Developing Brain

Separation-based techniques, like the popular time-out approach, use what children care most about against them.
Don’t Take Your Child's Behavior Personally

Mindful Moments Blog

Don’t Take Your Child's Behavior Personally

Have you ever been on the receiving end of your child’s angry outburst? It’s hard not to take it personally. But as it turns out, it’s not a result of poor parenting or a sign that your child is on the wrong track. It’s all due to your child’s developing brain.
Parenting DUI's Affect A Child's Self-Worth

Mindful Moments Blog

Parenting DUI's Affect A Child's Self-Worth

In all of our loving intent, we sometimes commit parenting DUI's, which can send our children into a protective response. Here are 3 ways to break the cycle, not only for your child but for your inner child, too.
The Trap of Conventional Discipline

Mindful Moments Blog

Conventional Discipline Doesn't Align With Child Development. Here's What To Do Instead.

As well-meaning parents, we second-guess ourselves instead of trusting our inner wisdom. We often feel the pressure to raise a “good” kid and be a “good” parent, and thus fall into the trap of conventional parenting. Here's how to escape the cycle. 
Parent Children, Not Labels

Mindful Moments Blog

Parent Children, Not Labels

It happens subconsciously, but it happens. Our brain judges and labels every input we receive. And since parenting offers us a constant and endless stream of input, at some point, we stop parenting young human beings and start parenting labels instead. Here's how to break the cycle. 
Meditating mama

Mindful Moments Blog

Undone

What if I was done? Complete. Leaving me incomplete. Longing to be a work in progress. Round around the edges. Potential yet realized.
childhood pathological liar

Mindful Moments Blog

Am I Raising A Pathological Liar?

Worried you are raising a pathological liar? You are not alone. Not only is some degree of lying normal for children, but it is a healthy sign of their developing brain. Read more.
5 Connection-Based Ways To Support Your Child Through Shyness

Mindful Moments Blog

5 Connection-Based Ways To Support Your Child Through Shyness

Does your child seem slow to warm up or hesitant to jump into social situations? Here are 5 connection-based ways to support them through shyness (without muting their intuition or muddling their self-concept). 
I Have More Patience With My Kids Than I Do My Partner. Is That Wrong?

Mindful Moments Blog

I Have More Patience With My Kids Than I Do My Partner. Is That Wrong?

My patience threshold for my children far outweighs that for my husband. Here's why, and how my husband and I found a way to reconnect. 
Toddlers And Meltdowns And Brain Development, Oh My!

Mindful Moments Blog

Meltdowns Develop Your Child's Brain When Met With Connection; Punishment Doesn't Work

Toddlers are one of the most authentic creatures on the planet, and also, arguably, the most misunderstood. On the surface, we see meltdowns, defiance, and limit testing. But there’s so much more than what meets the eye.
If It All Feels Heavy Today, Read This

Mindful Moments Blog

If It All Feels Heavy Today, Read This

There are millions of beautiful moments in parenting and also, sometimes, it feels hard. If you’re finding yourself in a heavy season today, or if you are having trouble recognizing yourself, here are 5 pieces of encouragement. 
When Your Child Says "I Hate You!"

Mindful Moments Blog

When Your Child Says "I Hate You!"

When your child says “I hate you!” you might find yourself getting defensive or you may feel the urge to assert control over the situation. The key to getting to the root of the challenge is to look beyond the hurtful words to figure out what’s going on for them emotionally. What are they really saying?
5 False Toddler Myths

Mindful Moments Blog

5 False Toddler Myths

Toddlerhood is a precious time. We do our kids and ourselves a great injustice by assigning negative intent to their developmentally normal behaviors. Instead of going to war, let’s spend these quickly-passing years seeking to understand our little ones and rewrite the narrative on common myths.
Sometimes Our Kids Just Want Us To Listen: 3 Tools For Connected Parenting

Mindful Moments Blog

Sometimes Our Kids Just Want Us To Listen: 3 Tools For Connected Parenting

These tools are invitations for you to show up to your child’s wants and needs with curiosity instead of immediately throwing down the hammer with a rebuttal. Because maybe they do want that thing they are mentioning, or maybe they are just sharing with you their heart, and their only real ask is that you listen.
10 Magical Outcomes to Dropping Your Expectations

Mindful Moments Blog

10 Magical Outcomes to Dropping Your Expectations

We subconsciously believe that if our children are misbehaving, then we did something wrong and we take action from a place of guilt. Here's how to flip your perspective and move from connection.
Can You Spoil A Baby?

Mindful Moments Blog

You Can't Spoil A Baby With Your Love

Keep holding them. Keep tending to their needs. Keep doing what feels right. It is impossible for you to spoil them with love.