When I took my first parenting course, I was highly confused when the content was focused on me. Wasn’t I supposed to be learning things about how to manage a meltdown, decrease power struggles, and navigate parenting… you know, tools to handle my child?
I am glad I stuck with the class because I did grow my toolbelt for all of that. But perhaps most profound, I learned something unexpected… something I never even considered: tools to handle myself.
We are often molded by the pressure of our culture to see our children through a behavior-centric lens. We better perform expectedly so that our children perform desirably. And the way to get there becomes a set of step-by-step strategies and checklists. But parenting is so much more relational than that.
It’s the relationship we have with our children.
It’s the relationship we have with ourselves.
I realized that if my goal was more peace in my home and more connection with and cooperation from my children, then it was time to explore what was behind Door #2. What I found was another method of parenting. A parent-centric lens. And through this approach to raising kids, parenting became a lot less about them and much more about me.
4 Reasons To Re-Parent Yourself
They say that when a woman becomes a mother, there is a rebirth that happens. I would agree. And after that rebirth, as she is raising her children, there is a re-parenting that’s also available.
So, what does re-parenting ourselves have to do with parenting our children? Everything.
1. Re-parenting brings us back to ourselves.
Who were you before the world told you who you had to be? In the early years of wiring our bodies, we used procedural knowledge and learned pretty quickly which parts of us to grow and which to minimize in order to fit into our family system. These survival adaptations become our identity and we carry them with us, in the shadows of our psyche, until they are brought to the light. And this is what re-parenting is - a way for us to reclaim the unconscious, repressed, and forgotten parts of ourselves. In doing so, we show up more fully, both for ourselves and for our children.
2. Re-parenting helps us understand our “over-the-top” reactions.
I used to think that our kids were the source of our “over-the-top” emotions. I mean, sometimes their behaviors and emotions are pretty maddening. But there are no new emotions. Our children merely spark what’s already there. Next time your child does whatever they do that sends you near (or over) the edge, ask yourself, “What was I taught about this emotion or behavior when I was young? Was it safe to feel/act this way?
3. Re-parenting helps us be more patient with our children.
We carry the constellation of our youth within and see echoes of it as we respond (or react) to our children. As we begin to accept responsibility for our emotional responses, we step into a more empowered form of parenting that focuses less on control and more on connection. The shift becomes less on making our children do something and more on asking ourselves questions like, “How can I grow this feeling or emotion in myself instead of suppressing it in my child?” Or, when a boundary is required, we may reflect, “What action can I take here?” The point is that we become more patient with our children when we know we have options for how we show up to what is happening around us.
4. Re-parenting creates evolution.
As we uncover our own authenticity through re-parenting, we become a pivot point for our lineage and a stepping stone for future generations. Through this conscious form of human-ing, we model the process for our children. They feel safe living authentically because we have opened the door to our own freedom. They learn to notice and manage emotions because we have practiced the same. And, they retain a wide host of skills that stem from self-love because we have remembered how to accept and love ourselves.
Reparenting is an act of self-love and empowerment, allowing you to heal emotional wounds, rewrite negative narratives, and cultivate self-acceptance.
Learn More About Reparenting
By understanding and embracing your inner child with kindness, you become resilient, improve your emotional well-being, and form a deeper connection with yourself.
If you would like further guidance and support in your reparenting journey, please take a moment to explore the Reparent Yourself Masterclass Bundle.
Lifetime Access to 20 Interactive Courses, Guided Meditations, Healing Movement, and Other Transformative Resources. The Reparent Yourself Masterclass Bundle is available at 94% Off Savings for a limited time.