A Mother’s Love: I Hope You Always Know

emotional intelligence 

By Guest Author

Mother and her son snuggling

Some nights as I’m stroking your head, mine full of questions, a heart full of blame.

I didn’t play with you enough today, I should have, but I was drowning in things that I had to get done.

I should have prepared more activities for you, read you more books, was the TV on for too long?

Did I yell too much? I really hope you remember the cuddles and laughter over the yelling.

Heart now full of apologies.

I say “No” a lot, maybe too much? “Mummy can’t right now”, I say that a lot too.

Why can’t I just be present? I’m here, you’re here, my mind sometimes elsewhere.

After a really hard day I told my husband I had “checked out,” I didn’t mean it, but I was trying to shorten “I’m so tired, I’m at breaking point and I need a moment.” It didn’t need to be shortened.

And so the little seeds of doubt grow into full bloom as I feed them the, “Did I give you enough?” questions.

I think of what I know to be true.

There is no place I’d rather be than here, even if I don’t feel that way every second of every day.

Driving the long way home doesn’t dull the light in my eyes when I see you.

You’re my thought before everything I do and after, but never an afterthought.

I smile just at the thought of you, even in my dreams.

And despite all my questions, my immeasurable love for you is not one of them.

As you drift off, my lingering thought,

I hope you always know that.

______________

Written by mama, poet, and contributing writer, Jess Urlichs.

Generation Mindful creates educational tools, toys, and programs that nurture emotional intelligence through play and positive discipline. Join us and receive joy in your inbox each week.

Time-in Toolkit in action

GENM's positive parenting course


Leave a comment


Please note, comments must be approved before they are published


Related Posts

6 Ways To Successfully Co-Parent With Your Ex
6 Ways To Successfully Co-Parent With Your Ex
Your family is a microculture, a unique fingerprint of you, your partner, and your children. Divorce is the dissoluti...
Read More
Your Child’s Happiness Isn’t Your Job 
Your Child’s Happiness Isn’t Your Job 
If you ask just about any parent what they want for their children, they’ll tell you it’s for them to be happy. As pa...
Read More
Helping Kids Process Their Emotions Free From Shame
Helping Kids Process Their Emotions Free From Shame
Have you ever heard someone tell a child who is upset to stop crying? Maybe they lead with something like, “What are ...
Read More