Have you ever worried that your feelings are too big or "too much" to be acknowledged... much less shared out loud with another human being?
Today I'm sharing a personal story and a practice I use for sharing my emotions despite this fear so many of us adopted in childhood that our feelings are not valid and thus, not worthy of being shared.
I call BS.
The truth is that our feelings are data. They are not "right" or "wrong" so much as they are information -- a glimpse into our inner world.
So many of us grew up having emotions like sadness, grief, confusion, jealousy, and rage dismissed or denied by often well-intended but misguided adults who were never taught how to listen to, empathize with, and/or regulate emotions themselves.
Like the majority of adults on the planet, the friend I wanted to share my emotions with was raised in a family system that believed emotions were:
- weak
- not valid in and of themselves
- and thus, NOT safe to feel
In this video, I share my experience of having my adult friend dismiss and deny my emotions when I shared my feelings, and how I responded.
In the above 12-minute video, I walk you through:
- A short centering exercise (1-3:00 min)
- My experience of being dismissed (3-4 min)
- How this tied to my childhood (5-6 min)
- Feelings as sacred (6-6:45 min)
- How I "permitted" myself to feel (6:45 min)
- A mantra to help us hold space for our kids (8:45 min)
We can learn to acknowledge ourselves and validate our own emotions. And, in modeling these things, we can teach others how to affirm and validate emotions as well --- making it safe for the next generation and for ourselves to feel.
JOIN THE REPARENT YOURSELF MEMBERSHIP
We don't control the people in our lives or how they react to our sharing --- but we DO control our thoughts, words, and actions.
I hope my experience helps you feel more confident in expressing your feelings regardless of how they will be met. Because this numbed-out world needs more sensitive people.
If you believe every child deserves to learn about their emotions, please check out our Reparent Yourself Membership, a community for change-makers like you, where we do not view the past as our destiny, but rather, our curriculum!
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