Mindful Moments Blog
Mindful Moments Blog
by Suzanne Tucker
What if I was done? Complete. Leaving me incomplete. Longing to be a work in progress. Round around the edges. Potential yet realized.
Mindful Moments Blog
Morning Meetings and Connecting a Classroom
by Ashley Patek
A the school counselor shares how her school transformed its classroom culture by using SnuggleBuddies plush toys to teach students about their emotions.
Mindful Moments Blog
Heart's Treasure Hunt Storytime
by Suzanne Tucker
Join Generation Mindful founder, Suzanne Tucker, for a fun, interactive reading of Heart's Treasure Hunt, our best-selling children's book where Heart goes on an adventure to discover "what is love and where does love live?..."
The answer might just surprise you!
Download this FREE PRINTABLE to color with the children in your home or classroom after storytime.
Have Your Own Storytime & Make Learning About Emotions FUN!
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Mindful Moments Blog
Using Art for Emotional Regulation
by Alex Petrou
A mama warrior overcomes frustration to make a teachable moment through art for her son. Three tips to incorporate art into positive parenting.
Mindful Moments Blog
It Takes a Village: Raising Children in a Connected World
by Ashley Martin
As we all know, it takes a village to raise a child. Generation Mindful is committed to being a part of that village as we provide support to those who need it most while offering assistance in nurturing their children’s development. This is one of the reasons why we provide an online learning portal known as The Village. It offers complimentary access to Generation Mindful’s early emotional education and positive childrearing resources for parents, caregivers, and educators.
Mindful Moments Blog
This Numbed Out World Needs Sensitive People Like You
by Suzanne Tucker
By: Suzanne Tucker
Have you ever worried that your feelings are too big or "too much" to be acknowledged... much less shared out loud with another human being?
Today I'm sharing a personal story and a practice I use for sharing my emotions despite this fear so many of us adopted in childhood that our feelings are not valid and thus, not worthy of being shared.
I call BS.
The truth is that our feelings are data. They are not "right" or "wrong" so much as they are information -- a glimpse into our inner world.
So many of us grew up having emotions like sadness, grief, confusion, jealousy, and rage dismissed or denied by often well-intended but misguided adults who were never taught how to listen to, empathize with, and/or regulate emotions themselves.
Like the majority of adults on the planet, the friend I wanted to share my emotions with was raised in a family system that believed emotions were:
weak
not valid in and of themselves
and thus, NOT safe to feel
In this video, I share my experience of having my adult friend dismiss and deny my emotions when I shared my feelings, and how I responded.
In the above 12-minute video, I walk you through:
A short centering exercise (1-3:00 min)
My experience of being dismissed (3-4 min)
How this tied to my childhood (5-6 min)
Feelings as sacred (6-6:45 min)
How I "permitted" myself to feel (6:45 min)
A mantra to help us hold space for our kids (8:45 min)
We can learn to acknowledge ourselves and validate our own emotions. And, in modeling these things, we can teach others how to affirm and validate emotions as well --- making it safe for the next generation and for ourselves to feel.
JOIN THE REPARENT YOURSELF MEMBERSHIP
We don't control the people in our lives or how they react to our sharing --- but we DO control our thoughts, words, and actions.
I hope my experience helps you feel more confident in expressing your feelings regardless of how they will be met. Because this numbed-out world needs more sensitive people.
If you believe every child deserves to learn about their emotions, please check out our Reparent Yourself Membership, a community for change-makers like you, where we do not view the past as our destiny, but rather, our curriculum!
Join us!
About the author
Suzanne Tucker is the founder of Generation Mindful, a physical therapist, a parent educator of 30 years, and a mom of 4 (including twins!). Suzanne has been studying the art and the science of connection-based parenting for decades. Her life's work is to help families around the world find more joy and connection in their relationships.
Why Being a Sensitive Parent is a Good Thing
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10 Simple Mindfulness Activities For Kids To Build Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence is More Than Naming Emotions
The Ultimate Guide To Building A Calming Corner And Using Time-Ins At Home
How do you say goodbye to time-outs and introduce time-ins? This is the ultimate guide on the do's and don'ts for building and using a Calming Corner.
"Ready-To-Hang" Time-In ToolKit
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The Time-In ToolKit® playfully teaches kids 2-9+ how to navigate big emotions through social emotional skill-building games. Created by child-develo...
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Mindful Moments Blog
Why Time-Outs Increase Power Struggles
by Ashley Patek
When your child misbehaves, how do you respond? Here is why Time-Outs increase power struggles and what you can do instead.
Mindful Moments Blog
Effective Parenting: Embracing Discipline Over Punishment
by Ashley Martin
Many individuals mistakenly equate punishment and discipline, assuming they are interchangeable terms. However, a closer examination reveals that they hold distinct meanings and approaches.
Mindful Moments Blog
by Suzanne Tucker
For the mamas out there whose hearts know the sharp sting and then the long deep ache of miscarriage, I see you. I feel your heart and I want you to know that you are not alone. Here is my life's story - our joys, our sadness and, most of all, our waiting.
Mindful Moments Blog
by Ashley Patek
Am I doing enough for my kids? Am I dropping the ball at work?How do I date my husband, spend time with myself, and keep the house afloat? Will my friends understand? I haven’t responded to their texts in days. These questions all lead back to one limiting belief that has followed me around like my own shadow for most of my life ... and it sounds like this in my head: "I am falling short, messing up... and not enough."
Nothing will cause us to look in the mirror at all parts of ourselves more than becoming a parent. And that’s exactly what my two sons have done - reflected back to me this limiting belief that says I have to be exemplary or I am failing.
The trickle-down effect was palpable as I watched my four-year-old son throw his red crayon across the room after coloring out of the lines in his Paw Patrol coloring book. Tears brimming, he wailed, “It is ruined. It’s not the way I wanted to do it. I never want to color again.”
After comforting my son and stumbling across my words, because clearly, I lacked the skills I wanted to teach, I settled in to relate to his pain. I got it. I really did. Because I have spent most of my life there.
I realized that if I didn’t learn tools to help my son embrace his mistakes, then tears over a scribbled picture would turn into tears about striking out at baseball, getting a B on a paper … and an overwhelming urgency to have all things go his way.
I began reading all the tips and tricks that experts suggested in helping my child overcome his fixed mindset, and with all of my short-hand sticky notes framing my computer, it felt more like putting a band-aid over a deeper wound. The pulse was coming from me. Because while my son was early in his brain development, I was also emotionally immature.
It was time to stop shaming myself for my mistakes and learn to befriend them … to acknowledge them as the teachers they are.
Here are five things I did to help positively reinforce a growth mindset:
1. Get to the root
Carol Dweck, psychologist and the author of Mindset who coined the term growth mindset, says, “Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence - like a gift - by praising their brains and talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact, has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or anything goes wrong.”
I felt like she wrote this specifically for my child-self. Reflecting back to my youth, my parents, with the best of intentions and full of heart, assured me that I was the best - When I colored a picture, I was the best artist … When I won the track race, I was the best athlete that day … When I graduated from college, I was the best. In being told I was “perfect”, I began to fear being “not perfect”. Would they still love me if I fell short of the best? This single question followed me through all future relationships, including motherhood.
And there it was, the root of my perfectionism stemmed from fear. At least now I knew what I was really dealing with.
2. Learn to release
“True self-confidence is the courage to be open - to welcome change and new ideas regardless of their source. It is not reflected in a title, an expensive suit, a fancy car, or a series of acquisitions. It is reflected in your mindset: your readiness to grow,” says Dweck.
So the new question became, how do I become courageously me?
I wrote down everything that I felt like I was failing. And then I tore the page in half. And then, tore it again. I threw the shredded papers in the recycle bin where they could be transmuted to something useful because my guilt sure wasn’t helping anyone.
3. Adopt a new perspective
Brené Brown, professor, lecturer, and author says that healthy striving is self-focused, asking ourselves, “How can I improve?” whereas perfectionism is other-focused, causing us to ask, “What will they think?”
I realized that being the best was a narrow concept. Instead, I could focus on being my best, and that was fluid minute to minute. Sometimes my best is locking myself in the bathroom for five deep breaths before re-entering the chaos of raising small children, and sometimes the bar is much higher. When I put the power back into myself, to ask what I want and need, I can overcome life’s disruptions with much more resilience.
4. Create a mantra
I knew I needed some sort of mantra to repeat to myself as I was likely to fall back into old habits, at least initially. So I created this practice: Place one hand on your heart, and one hand on your belly. Breathe in: I am love. Breathe out: I am enough. Rinse and repeat all day long.
5. Practiced acceptance
For my children to embrace their mistakes, they had to become safe for me, too. When I did mess up, I noticed my self-talk and focused on shifting from I can’t believe I did this to My mistakes help me learn and grow. With practice, mistakes became allowed, and even welcomed, in our household.
I also circled back to the beginning, my child-self who was a slave to praise. I gave her permission to be loved, flaws and all. Shifting into motherhood, I began to notice and celebrate my boys’ efforts over their outcomes so that they have the freedom to meet challenges head-on without the trepidation of a what if I fail mentality?
My boys and I are learning to do the lionhearted work of being ourselves together.
So, you ask, how did I help my sons develop a growth mindset? I started with me.
_____________
Generation Mindful creates educational tools, toys, and programs that nurture emotional intelligence through play and positive discipline. Join us and receive parenting inspiration and support in your inbox each week.
Mindful Moments Blog
How to Use a Feeling Chart for Adults in Positive Parenting
by Guest Author
Improve emotional well-being with a feeling chart for adults. Enhance awareness, communication, and resilience with mood charts and emotion charts.
Mindful Moments Blog
Mindful Parenting and How It Affects Children
by Alex Petrou
What is mindful parenting? Learn the benefits and practices of this positive parenting style and how you can integrate it into your child's life.
Mindful Moments Blog
Our Kids Are Listening Even When They Don't Seem Like It
by Ashley Patek
I was starting to lose hope that my three-year-old was actually absorbing anything when I talked to him about emotions or attempted to elicit empathy after he hit or kicked another in a fit of rage. But then this happened, and I realized he had been listening after all.
Mindful Moments Blog
Pretending To Be Calm Is Not Helping Our Children
by Rebecca Eanes
Many of us believe that if we can remain calm no matter what and teach our children to do the same then we have successfully mastered self-regulation. But true regulation has nothing to do with achieving a certain state. It's in noticing and responding to whatever emotion you are feeling.
Mindful Moments Blog
Types of Parenting Styles: Finding Yours and Why It Matters
by Alex Petrou
There are four types of parenting styles and each impacts how your child develops. Learn which one you use and the research behind how they affect kids.
Mindful Moments Blog
Dear Daughter: A Spoken Word Poem
by Alex Petrou
Grab your tissues. This heartfelt video captures the love and prayers one father carries for his unborn child: "The pain and the pleasure, they are buried treasure. Get your hands dirty..." - Kurt Peloquin
Mindful Moments Blog
The ABCs and 123s of Emotional Intelligence
by Suzanne Tucker
Today I'm sharing two social-emotional skill-building activities I wish EVERY child and every adult in the world knew.
These two skills make up the ABCs and 123s of emotional intelligence. They are free, simple, easy, and dare I say, even fun to practice.
In the following 18-minute video, I walk you through these skill-building activities for building emotional intelligence in your home or early childhood classroom. This video is for parents and educators, and it can be shared with tweens and teens as well!
Tune in and learn:
What are the three skill sets that lead to higher emotional intelligence in children and adults?
What are two ways children can practice these skills on a daily basis?
How do these practices help us manage things like depression and anxiety with toddlers, teens, and right on into adulthood?
Thank you for learning more about Generation Mindful's mission to raise an emotionally healthy world.
If you believe every child deserves to learn about their emotions, join our 1M+ online community of parents and educators from around the world who are making it safe for kids to feel.
And check out these additional articles:
5 Ways To Nurture Emotional Intelligence For Kids
10 Simple Mindfulness Activities For Kids To Build Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence is More Than Naming Emotions
Teach Children How to Regulate Emotions Using A Calming Space
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