Mindful Moments Blog
Mindful Moments Blog
Three Steps To Shift From Frustration To Connection
by Guest Author
Undoubtedly, the most frustrating moments in parenting are those that happen to us every day. When we understand what is causing our frustration, we are able to move from connection. Here are 3 tips.
Mindful Moments Blog
A World Where 250 Preschool Students Are Suspended Every Day
by Suzanne Tucker
A world where 250 preschoolers are suspended per day in the US alone is a world that needs a course correction.
You read that right -- according to 2017 data from the National Survey of Children's Health, 250 kids in the US are suspended or expelled from preschool each day. What’s more, the rate of expulsion is much higher among Black boys.
Researchers found that half of the 17,000 preschool students who were suspended or expelled in 2021 were Black boys even though they represent about 20 percent of enrolled children.
The impact of expulsion and suspension on children, families, and society
Recent research on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) informs our increasing awareness of the impact of early trauma on a child's healthy development and the relationships between early trauma and compromised physical and mental health conditions later in life.
Expulsion and suspension practices in early childhood settings are stressful, negative experiences for young children and their families. Here are just a few of the negative impacts on our children and families.
Per findings from The Institute For Child Success, preschool expulsion and suspensions:
- Interrupt the child’s sense of security, social acceptance, and academic routines.
- Put added stress on the child’s parents who are often left to find immediate childcare or another early childhood setting, frequently without support or facilitation by the previous program of attendance.
- Are often delivered by early childhood programs that have not performed adequate developmental assessments of the child before removing them from the classroom.
- Are predictive of expulsion or suspension in later school grades.
Young children who are expelled or suspended are up to 10 times more likely to drop out of high school, experience academic failure and grade retention, hold negative school attitudes, and face incarceration than those who are not.
Variables including larger classes, a higher proportion of 3-year-olds in the class, and elevated teacher job stress were found to increase the likelihood of expulsion.
One study that assessed the quality of 65 discipline policies from state-licensed early childhood care programs found that most of the program's discipline policies fail to sufficiently address essential features known to reduce challenging behavior and promote pro-social behavior in young children. (Longstreth, Brady, & Kay, 2013)
This same study confirmed the importance of positive teacher-child interactions in reducing rates of preschool expulsion, validating the importance of providing program support in the areas of social and emotional development as well as focused interventions for children with special needs and/or mental health issues.
Students perform better when they feel supported by the adults in their lives.
If we are to protect our youngest learners, and families impacted by racism, poverty, and learning differences, we need to invest in early and inclusive social-emotional learning initiatives.
Our school systems are failing to protect already marginalized student populations that, statistically speaking, are disproportionally more likely to receive punitive disciplinary actions than their counterparts.
With the right instruction and support, every student can thrive and excel, in and out of the classroom. We do this when we:
Invest in building stronger school-family partnerships.
Incorporate strengths-based discipline practices into the classroom.
Involve families, early and often, in their students' learning.
Preschool expulsions and suspensions are a national issue. It's time for us as a society to implement positive, relationship-based practices in the home and classroom to meet the social and emotional needs that challenging behaviors often represent.
With early emotional education, tools, and support that bridge home and school, we can support children, families, and educators, lower stress levels in the classroom, and prevent preschool expulsions and suspensions.
If you are interested in how Generation Mindful is addressing the school-to-prison pipeline by making social-emotional learning inclusive and accessible, you can learn more here.
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trauma-informed
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Break Shame Cycles
model to learn
Breaking Generational Cycles
mental health
classroom management
Neurodiversity
Mindful Moments Blog
Learning To Love Myself Through Motherhood
by Ashley Patek
"I have never called my enoughness into question more than becoming a mother." This mama shares how she learned to love herself through the messiness of Motherhood.
Mindful Moments Blog
by Ashley Patek
We wanted to share a list of some of our favorite Generation Mindful articles that chat about why time-outs are out, and shine light on the importance of time-ins in shaping a child's social-emotional intelligence.
Mindful Moments Blog
How About a Little Less Guilt This Summer
by Rebecca Eanes
3 Steps To Blast Through The Shame And Reclaim Your Power
The memes are swirling again. You only get 18 summers with your children. Make it count! Don’t miss out on a single second! You’re running out of time! Make sure you give them an epic summer! The clock is ticking! Don’t fail them!
I understand the sentiment, really. It’s meant to be a reminder to pay attention and soak it in. No harm meant. Much like “your children are only little once” and “enjoy every second.” But how these sentiments land really depends on one’s current state - emotionally, mentally, financially, physically, etc.
When you’re struggling, these well-meaning sentiments land like a swift slap to the cheek. They can induce waves of guilt and not-enoughness as we:
Share custody with a co-parent, only getting half of the summer
Navigate the troubled waters of a mentally or physically ill child
Work extra shifts, multiple jobs, or longer hours to make ends meet
Feel grief and loss or fight the darkness that is descending
Attempt to rebuild broken relationships or shattered dreams
Lack the financial capability to trek to Disney or beaches
Feel complete exhaustion from running in circles daily
Work to piece together childcare solutions because work doesn’t break for the summer
Crave alone time because you’re now a 24/7 jungle gym for little ones
There have been periods in my life when those inspirational memes and quotes did just that - inspired me. They landed softly. Sweetly. They stirred something positive in me.
This summer, when my life is upside down and nothing looks the way it’s supposed to, they land hard and it stings. They leave me feeling deeply ashamed and inferior. It is not the fault of the meme-sharer. While it lands hard on me, it is landing softly on countless other parents, gently encouraging and nudging them along their paths, inspiring connection and presence.
No, it is not incumbent on those who share such things to make sure I am okay enough to read them. My reaction is my own, and rather than spiraling into the shame it evokes, I can notice my not-enoughness - my guilty reaction - and take some important steps.
Step One: Notice
My reaction to “you only get 18 years” landed hard because my kids are teenagers. I don’t have anywhere close to 18 left. I have only 2 left with one child, and 4 left with another. When you’re staring at the end of a journey, well, there are a whole lot of emotions.
Not only is my time left with them extremely limited, but shared custody limits it more. Now the pressure is really on. I need to provide the most awesome final childhood memories.
But wait, financially, things are strapped. We won’t be flying to Disney World like so many of our friends. We won’t spend a week lounging in front of the Atlantic.
It’s no wonder the well-meaning sentiment hit so hard. But now that I’ve noticed the sting and paid attention to its message, I can make the conscious decision not to spiral into the shame it initially evoked.
Your reasons for the sting are different, but I want you to know they are valid. You’re not being silly or overly sensitive. You have permission to feel it all - your disappointment, frustration, sadness, grief - whatever is bubbling up to the surface for you, let it come. Feel your feelings and breathe.
Step Two: Choose Compassion
Now that we’ve noticed the frenzy of feelings that are coming up for us, let’s meet them with compassion. Let’s hold ourselves in a safe space while they wash over us, and then allow them to go, appreciating the messages they brought but not holding on to them.
I have to purposefully choose to be heavy on the self-affirmations this summer - to dose up self-love and self-care because myself is hurting and needs to heal. When the shame gremlins whisper in my ear, when they speak to me of my inferiority, mistakes, and failures, I have to look them in the eye and whisper back “I am enough.” And even though I may not believe it at that moment, I may not truly feel enough, I will repeat it because the little girl within is listening.
Step Three: Own What I Can Do
When I focus on everything I cannot do or provide this summer, I feel despair. But when I focus on what I can do, I feel empowered.
I can make and accept bids for connection.
I can be present and give my full attention at times.
I can stop worrying about tomorrow.
I can take a short trip.
I can build them up and share my love.
I can leave the past where it belongs.
I can choose love over fear.
I can enjoy the days we have together, and if not the whole day, at least a part of it.
Maybe I can’t give my children a magical summer, but I can help make it lovely. I can’t fly them to Universal Studios but I can make sure they feel seen and valued and deeply, deeply loved.
As for me, I can take the next small step toward rebuilding a life that I love. I can rest in the knowledge that this difficult stage is only temporary, as all stages are. And most importantly, I can acknowledge that life doesn’t end when my kids hit 18. I will have lifelong relationships with them, and there will be many, many more opportunities for grand adventures, epic trips, and great memory-making. Sure, childhood may be nearing its end, but life - well life is just getting started, isn’t it? A new stage is coming, and I have a feeling it’s going to get much better.
Mindful Moments Blog
3 Effective Ways to Separate Your Identity From Your Emotions
by Rebecca Eanes
Whatever you are facing today, I hope you know you are more than your current struggle. You are fierce and brave. You are enough. You are a warrior.
Mindful Moments Blog
Philly Voice: Mindfulness Card Games: Nurturing Compassion and Peace in Our Families
by Guest Author
The table is set and food prepared. Children play nearby; it’s joyously noisy after a busy day of adventuring. My sister and her girls are in town for a week. I treasure every moment as we connect, explore and share stories. "Dinner is ready," I announce[...] Read More
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Mindful Moments Blog
by Rebecca Eanes
How do you thrive as a working mom? The answer may just be in pie (and we aren't talking chocolate silk or lemon meringue here).
Mindful Moments Blog
Virtual Calming Corner Teaches Kids About Emotions Playfully
by Ashley Patek
How do we teach social-emotional learning (SEL) to our children?
Mindful Moments Blog
by Guest Author
Writer Jess Urlichs shares a poem about being a mother to two.
Mindful Moments Blog
Why Using A Behavior Chart Is Ineffective
by Ashley Patek
Before you decide to add to or continue using behavioral management charts, let's take a closer look at the undesirable side-effects. Read more.
Mindful Moments Blog
7 Ways to Stop Disrespectful Behavior
by Rebecca Eanes
Disrespectful behavior is a normal response for an underdeveloped, reactive brain. Our response to this normal behavior, however, will determine whether a negative cycle ensues or our relationship is strengthened. When you must choose between showing power or showing love, choose love.
Mindful Moments Blog
This Twist on a Classic Teaches Children Loving Limits and Boundaries
by Ashley Patek
While some may say that The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein is a tale of selfless love, others find the story actually sends a much different message --- one of co-dependency.
Mindful Moments Blog
Enhancing Social-Emotional Learning in Traditional and Montessori Classrooms
by Suzanne Tucker
Discover effective social-emotional techniques for Montessori classrooms and traditional settings. Nurture emotional growth in diverse educational environments.
Mindful Moments Blog
Santa's 'Naughty List' Has Been Canceled This Holiday Season
by Ashley Patek
The holiday season is meant to be a magical time, but often it is used as leverage to control a child’s behavior. We have a real opportunity to rewrite the narrative. Here's how.
Mindful Moments Blog
Gentle Parenting: An Ode To Our Ancestors
by Selina Armstrong
For Black parents, gentle parenting is not the opposite of what our elders have done. This is how we thank previous generations for keeping us safe in a world that wouldn't.
Mindful Moments Blog
How To Support Your Child Through Grief
by Guest Author
Grief is a universal human experience that can affect anyone at any time, and at any age. By acknowledging and processing our grief, we can help our children cope, too. Learn how children of different ages may express their grief and tools to support them through it.
