Mindful Moments Blog
Mindful Moments Blog
6 Reasons You May Be Failing Time-Ins
by Ashley Patek
If you are having trouble implementing Time-Ins in your home, or you are wondering if this is right for your family, we have some tips to help bring the science and connection into everyday life.
Mindful Moments Blog
Time-Ins Are Not A Punishment Nor A Reward
by Ashley Patek
Do time-in's "reward" children for being bad? We wanted to strip this question down to the bare bones and address every facet of this misconception. Read more.
Mindful Moments Blog
Meltdowns Develop Your Child's Brain When Met With Connection; Punishment Doesn't Work
by Ashley Patek
Toddlers are one of the most authentic creatures on the planet, and also, arguably, the most misunderstood. On the surface, we see meltdowns, defiance, and limit testing. But there’s so much more than what meets the eye.
Mindful Moments Blog
Teaching Academics and Social-Emotional Skills in the Montessori Classroom
by Ashley Patek
Emily Canibano, a Montessori teacher with a classroom of 16 students ranging in age from 1.2 to 5.5 years, was looking for a way to teach social-emotional skills in her classroom, both in feeling emotions and in the safe expression of them.
Mindful Moments Blog
by Alex Petrou
One family’s journey using time-ins to manage their toddler's big feelings, going from 33 to 3 tantrums a day in just one week.
Mindful Moments Blog
Autistic Mama and Sons Request: See Us for Us, Not our Labels
by Ashley Patek
Tiffany Hammond is an autistic mama to two autistic sons. She shares that their diagnosis is not a one-size-fits-all expression. Rather, Tiffany sees this as part of her family’s unique human experience.
Mindful Moments Blog
Blue Dolphin and Green Hummingbird Are Perfectly Imperfect
by Ashley Patek
A manufacturing inaccuracy of Generation Mindful's SnuggleBuddies gave rise to a beautiful lesson: we are all perfectly imperfect.
Mindful Moments Blog
Using A Feelings Chart To Teach Emotions
by Ashley Patek
If you feel like you are learning about emotional regulation right alongside your child, it’s because, very likely, you are. Here's how to use a feelings chart to teach your kids (and yourself) about emotions and calming strategies to decrease tantrums and nurture emotional intelligence.
Mindful Moments Blog
Six Ways To Intentionally Raise Kind Children
by Ashley Patek
Research shows that when we shame, blame, and guilt children into kindness, or, quite the opposite, when we dangle carrots (aka external rewards) for caring, children begin to view kindness as a chore rather than a choice. So how do we teach kindness? Read more.
Mindful Moments Blog
It’s Development, Not Defiance
by Rebecca Eanes
We are so accustomed to parenting being a struggle. We expect it. We deal with it. We fight back and forth for control. But what if I told you that their behavior was not defiance but development. Here are 3 tools to help your child grow their emotional regulation and impulse control muscles.
Mindful Moments Blog
5 Simple Daily Mindful Moments For Parents
by Traci Esposito
Whether the kid crew is acting mild or wild, chances are, your days would go a little more smoothly if you started and ended them with a few simple mindful moments. Here are 5 daily mindful moments you can add in (not on) to your day to have less yelling and more peace in your home.
Mindful Moments Blog
Time-Ins Are A Form Of Re-Parenting
by Ashley Patek
Time-Ins are for all the children in the home and that includes the one that lives within us.
We think that parenting is about our kids - something we do to them to make them kind, smart, "good," responsible, etc.
But truly, parenting is something we have with our children. It's a relationship, and that relationship starts with the one we have with ourselves.
The way we parent our children is directly related to our childhood. The things that trigger us now tend to be the same things denied or suppressed in us as children. It can make parenting our kids incredibly challenging. Their development often charges our emotions, and we yell, lecture, threaten, or do things that we later cry about in the bathroom. (Anyone else?)
Interested in learning more about reparenting? Check out our Reparent Yourself Online Summit and get lifetime access to 15+ incredible resources from top parenting experts.
Re-Parenting Our Triggers
Take a moment to think of a current-day trigger with your child - a moment when your emotional response was disproportionate to what was actually happening. As you reflect, ask yourself these questions and write down your answers.
What was I feeling in my body when this happened?
What thoughts were running through my mind?
What goal did I have for my child at that moment?
If I canceled that goal for my child, what new goal could I set for myself that involves my thoughts, words, feelings, and actions?
When we understand the answers to these questions, 1) we create a gap between what our children do and who they are, 2) we take responsibility for our own responses, and 3) we move outside control-based parenting and into connection-based parenting.
Re-Parenting Our Inner Child
If you desire to take it a step further, you can move beyond the surface of your reactivity and into a deeper awareness of your inner child. You may choose to explore these questions, writing down your answers.
What did I learn in those earliest years of wiring my body about whatever it is that my child is doing and that I am reacting to?
What did I have to deny, suppress, or minimize in myself to fit into my family system as a child?
What did I need as a child?
How could I meet those needs now as an adult?
I know it seems like a lot of work for us when most of the time, we are focused on tools for our kids, but it starts here.
How we know ourselves directly affects how we see and relate to our children.
Re-parenting With Time-Ins
A tangible way to bring all of this re-parenting into your home to include your children is to take a family Time-In. Often, it's thought that Time-Ins are for our kids, which is true, but that is only part of the puzzle.
Create small daily rituals with your family to share how you feel, process hard moments and playfully explore calming strategies. During a Time-In, you may choose to ask your child:
What happened?
What were you feeling?
Where did you feel that feeling in your body?
How big was it?
Why does that feeling make sense in your body? (What did you want and need?)
Just as you would for your kids, take a Time-In during your heightened, unpleasant emotions too. This is a form of re-parenting. This is how we model emotional regulation and invite healing inward.
In short, Time-Ins are for all the children in the home, including the child that lives deep inside us.
Interested in learning more about reparenting?
Check out our FREE 3-Day Reparent Yourself Online Summit and get lifetime access to incredible resources from top parenting experts.
💚 Break generational patterns
💚 Let go of conflict avoidance and perfectionism
💚 Replace codependent behaviors with self-care
Mindful Moments Blog
How One Child Learned To Manage His Emotions By Watching His Sister
by Ashley Patek
With the use of the Time-In-Toolkit and SnuggleBuddies Plush Toys, one child learned how to manage his emotions by modeling his older sister.
Mindful Moments Blog
The Battle Between Positive and Negative Reinforcement
by Traci Esposito
We parents have long searched for a solution when it comes to behavior modification, asking ourselves, which is more effective, positive or negative reinforcement? We have the scoop here.
Mindful Moments Blog
Quit Pathologizing Children’s Stress
by Ashley Patek
Research has shown that children who feel unsafe and disconnected cannot learn. Why is this and what can we do as parents and educators?
Mindful Moments Blog
Calming Spaces for Muggles, Wizards and Eight-Year-Old Girls Alike
by Alex Petrou
Wisdom. Emotional intelligence. Maturity. These words typically conjure up the image of someone older than you. Perhaps it’s someone you know and revere for their persistent nature and kind soul. That person for me is Elizabeth: an 8-year-old I’ve only just met. Older than me? Not by a long shot. A person from whom I could learn from? Absolutely.
Elizabeth and her mom reside in St. Louis, and I was lucky enough to speak with them very recently about their enjoyment of their products from Generation Mindful. Not only was it encouraging to hear they were well-loved already, but there was a tone in this young girl’s voice that stopped me dead in my tracks: she was fully embracing the mindfulness mindset, and was already self-aware enough to speak with me about her own growth and life today.
Elizabeth answered the phone when I called and did so with so much gusto that I thought I was speaking to her mom, Tracy, instead! We chatted Harry Potter, and our shared love of his adventures and magical stories bonded us immediately. She, without a doubt, is a Gryffindor: she was happy to share this fact with me, and even pointed me in the direction of the sorting hat if I wanted to do so myself. I assured her I’m a longtime Hufflepuff and noted that we work well together. She reminded me we all can.
The mother-daughter duo then proceeded to tell me more about the magical Calming Corner they’ve set up in their basement, in a little room below the stairs: just like a certain big-feeling boy Elizabeth and I both know quite well.
It was previously used for storage, but once they received their posters and toolkit from Generation Mindful, their collective lightbulb went off and they just knew that space would be better used as Elizabeth’s very own Calming Corner. In it, she’s incorporated her toolbox of helpful things: some stuffed poodles, some coloring utensils, a small pad for her drawings and doodlings.
She tells me that it makes her happy and to feel calm, and her mom also chuckles and notes that she’s spoken with the poodles a time or two when she needed to vent as well; and that it really, truly helps them to have that space.
Making an area an inviting haven for comfort, peace, and love means it will be used. It will be loved, and much reflection and growth can happen there as well. Sometimes we need a place that is all our own, with tools made with those big feelings in mind.
Dumbledore famously said to his protege Mr. Potter, “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?”
We can’t help but agree.
_____________
Generation Mindful creates tools, toys, and programs that nurture emotional intelligence through play and positive discipline. Join us and receive joy in your inbox each week.
Mindful Moments Blog
The Ultimate Guide To Building A Calming Corner And Using Time-Ins At Home
by Ashley Patek
How do you say goodbye to time-outs and introduce time-ins? This is the ultimate guide on the do's and don'ts for building and using a Calming Corner.
Mindful Moments Blog
5 Reasons Kids Misbehave And How To Respond
by Ashley Patek
Here are five common reasons our kids misbehave and some ideas on how to respond for a more peaceful, connected home.
Mindful Moments Blog
St. Louis Mom’s Alternative To Timeouts Turns Into Multi-Million Dollar Business
by Ashley Patek
Parenting during a pandemic has its challenges, but there’s something that can help those with younger children thanks to a St. Louis mom.
Mindful Moments Blog
4 Powerful Ways To Ensure Your Kids Don’t Bear the Weight of Your Emotions
by Rebecca Eanes
When children feel responsible for taking care of their parents emotionally, it can cause a range of mental and emotional issues. Maybe this was a familiar story in your own childhood. Here are 4 ways we can break the cycle.
