Mindful Moments Blog

While our children can be playmates and friends, there can also be an underlying bid for our love and attention. Tune into this free Parenting Q & A Webinar with the Founder of Generation Mindful to learn about some of the most common parenting pitfalls that fan the flames of sibling competition and what to do instead. FREE WEBINAR: You might also like these resources for taming sibling rivalry: 3 Parenting Do's and Don'ts When It Comes To Sibling Relationships Why Sibling Rivalry is Good For Kids, And How Parents Can Make It Through Our Kids Trigger Us To Heal Us

It can be hard to connect when our children are reluctant to share. Here are some tips to help your children want to talk.

Social-emotional instruction has been proven beneficial during normal times; it is now an urgent need. Here are 5 SEL activities for the classroom and 5 for home. Together, we can bridge the school to home gap. 

Four tips to help parents create meaningful and effective in-home learning opportunities during the pandemic.

Sometimes we are running on empty ourselves, and we don’t have the emotional capacity to be with our child’s big emotions. Here are some preventative measures and timely rescues. I’ve read all the things …  heard all the parenting tools, and I am on board. I am the parent who wants to connect with my child before I redirect him.  I want to avoid yelling, lecturing, and punishment tactics.  I want to empower. Stay curious. Teach and guide.  It totally makes sense to me.  But here’s the thing. Knowing what to do and actually having the capacity to do it are two separate things. Despite my best intentions, I can’t ignore the loudness of my own life.  I feel stressed. Over my head.  Out of my league.  My own emotional capacity is on E, and it makes it super hard to be emotionally available for my child during his big emotions.  When my three and five-year-olds have age-appropriate meltdowns, I feel the weight of all the shoulds in those moments. I should be able to be calm. I shouldn’t be so triggered. I should be able to help my child when they are struggling. I should be better at this. Enter parent guilt, stage left.  If you have made it this far, chances are, you have been here too. Turns out parenting stress is a real thing … like really. Psychologists refer to “parenting stress” as the distress we experience when we feel we can’t cope as a parent. The demands are too high and we don’t have the physical and/or emotional resources to meet them.   Preventative Rescues There are about a zillion things that can contribute to parenting stress, unique to each family system and individual. But the million-dollar question is: What do you do when your emotional capacity to cope with your child’s big emotions is MIA? 1. Celebrate Sounds a little weird, right? But really, celebrate. Give yourself a pat on the back, a big ol’ hug, or at least a break (aka some self-compassion). Your awareness is powerful and is the first step to being available to both you and your children.   2. Do A Brain Dump On a piece of paper, write down everything that stresses you out. This can be done in one sitting or over the course of days. The act of creating the list itself isn’t supposed to be stressful.  Once your list is complete, go through the list and circle anything you can control, and cross out anything that you can’t. This exercise helps us recognize where we may be giving our energy away and helps us focus on what we can control, which is empowering.  Lastly, pick one thing from your list, the low-hanging fruit, and start there. How can you ease the stress of this particular thing? Can you delegate or ask for help? Does it require you to say no to something to prevent overscheduling your time and emotions? Can you break it down into smaller, more digestible parts?  3. Shift Your Self-Talk When you feel comfortable with the previous step, begin with small, sustainable mindset changes. This may include: Create a “to feel” list instead of a “to do” list, which focuses on how you want to feel in a particular day as opposed to all of the things you have to do in a day. When we decide how we want to feel, we can strive to do (and think) things that help us live into the desired emotional state. Create a mantra and/or post affirmations on sticky notes, your mirror, or wherever you can see them often. In setting these intentions, it shifts the circuits of your brain and, after time, new pathways of destressing are made. You may choose to say things like: “I am worthy and enough.” “I choose calm.” “This is temporary and I can get through it.” “I will listen to what my body needs today.” 4. Develop Rituals Rituals are predictable and predictability communicates safety to our body, which helps us move from our stressed-out reactive brain to our higher brain regions wired for regulation. Some ideas include:  Practice breathing slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth, watching your belly move up and down like waves of the ocean Move your body via walking, stretching, or exercising Sip hot tea or a cup of joe before the kids wake up  Take a hot bath after they go to bed Whatever ritual you decide, choose something small - just for you - that you can add to your day (not on to it). So maybe when you wake, you plant your feet on the ground, stretch your arms up, and set an intention for the day. Or maybe you take a few seconds for your ritual every time you go pee. Or maybe you set a timer to remind yourself throughout the day to pause and notice: “What do I need right now?” This is a great way to start small self-care practices.  Another great ritual is one to do with your child. Take five minutes in the morning or before bed for a feelings check-in. How do I feel right now? When did I feel happy, sad, calm, and mad today? This ritual helps you connect with your child, be emotionally available for them, and can be a release for you too.  I know this all sounds like a lot of preventative work, and it is. In doing these things, we can build our emotional capacity for when our kiddos are escalating.  Timely Rescues  Now, let’s say you have been incorporating some of the preventative tools yet you’re also fuzzy on what to do in the moment of your child’s escalation.  The first thing is to start right where you are. Ask yourself, “How much can I give of myself right now? How am I feeling?” Sometimes just the pause and art of noticing helps us regulate, and sometimes it helps even our children.  When it feels too much to validate your child, set a boundary, and use some of the other parenting tools for de-escalation, start with just one tool - the tool and power of your actions. What can you do in this moment to de-escalate yourself?  Deep breathing or bumblebee breathing (which is good for blocking out stimuli and connecting with your body) Tapping under your collar bones (which balances your own nervous system) Touching your thumb to each finger and saying, “Peace lives in me”  Getting outside with your child Just modeling self-regulation is super powerful even if the other stuff feels too much. And then, maybe later, sometime when you do feel like it’s available for you emotionally and physically, have a conversation with your child. It may sound something like this: “Do you know how you sometimes have big emotions? Well, guess what, adults do too. And sometimes I am really working hard on mine. It’s kind of cool that we’re both going through this together. We are a team. I’m always here for you. I love you. And whatever comes, we will get through it together.”  Who knows, maybe you and your child can come up with emotional calming strategies and solutions to high-stress moments together. Because we aren’t alone in this. Neither are our children. It is a relationship. I see my child, and they see me. I do for them, and guess, what, they mirror it right back. 

Get 51 positive affirmations for kids that you can start using today. Plus, learn how they work, why they work, and fun ways to implement them at home.

Positive affirmations help build a child's learning brain to nurture self-awareness, self-esteem, problem-solving, and emotional regulation. Here are 5 ways to use affirmations with kids so they'll stick.

Have you ever had an argument with your child over picking up their toys? You may have asked them once or twice, or even ten times to just pick them up. You start to feel very frustrated and tiresome and you begin to notice that as you grow more angry, so does your child. 

We have all been there. Family who doesn’t agree with our parenting style, who uses fear and shame to push obedience for their convenience … those who may or may not be willing to work with you in raising an emotionally healthy child. Here are 4 steps for when this is the case. 

Our kids who are daydreaming or squirming in their seats or not listening or who show poor impulse control are being told that they are not behaving in ways that conform to the classroom. But perhaps their brain is not built for the standardized classroom. What if school looked like this instead?

Teach kids social-emotional skills in the kitchen in honor of National Social-Emotional Learning Day. Love this and want more?  Join Make It Stick Parenting now for 24/7 tools and support. Get Started Today! Free Training Video On Transforming Conflict Into Connection (Instant Access)    We'll let you know about other exclusive live events, and send you free parenting tools, and videos on using positive discipline. ACCESS FREE TRAINING NOW Teach kids social-emotional skills in the kitchen in honor of National Social-Emotional Learning Day. Love this and want more?  Join Make It Stick Parenting now for 24/7 tools and support. Get Started Today! Free Training Video On Transforming Conflict Into Connection (Instant Access)    We'll let you know about other exclusive live events, and send you free parenting tools, and videos on using positive discipline. ACCESS FREE TRAINING NOW

This 92-year-old woman shared with me this wisdom, and it changed the way I loved myself, and it eventually became a guide for how my children would learn to love themselves, too. 

The teenage years are a critical time period for brain growth. The physiological changes that take place in adolescence cause behaviors that are often misunderstood. We explain them here. 

In the early years, we are the definitions of love for our children. Our behavior and words outline what is acceptable and what isn’t. Our response informs them of how to treat others and sets the pace for their own self-worth. Ask yourself, "What if my partner talked to me/treated me in the way I do my children?" What would come up for you?

Want to decrease defiance? It isn't through punishment and Time-Outs. The answer is in Time-Ins, and here's why. 

Generation Mindful® is excited to be in partnership with US Military Family Support Services in bringing our play-based social-emotional skill-building tools, toys, and parent education programs to military families with children ages 2 to 10. Here is a brief overview of the program by Generation Mindful's founder, Suzanne Tucker: Your browser does not support HTML video. In this next video, learn more about the science behind the Time-In ToolKit® Bundle you will receive, including: The Time-In ToolKit® SnuggleBuddies Emotions Plush Hearts Treasure Hunt Children's Book Positive Parenting Online Course In the following video, Generation Mindful's founder explains the brain science behind the company's strength's-based approach and why these positive, play-based educational tools and parent education programs outperform punitive methods when it comes to teaching children vital social-emotional skills: The following video on SnuggleBuddies Emotions Plush opens with Amanda, a military mom of two, sharing her family's experience using the plush to manage some big feelings and challenging behaviors her children were showing when her husband deployed: Your browser does not support HTML video. And to show the appropriateness of these tools for tots to tweens, here is Meghan, age 10, sharing how she created a calming space her the Time-In ToolKit® Bundle.  Listen in as she explains how she uses the tools, including the PeaceMakers Mindfulness Card Deck and her calming corner posters to regulate her emotions: We hope you will join us in this new program, bringing support to military families via play-based early emotional learning tools, parent education, and support. _____________________ This sponsored program is being offered for FREE to a limited number of military families at Fort Bragg, North Carolina on a first-come, first-served basis. Join us, and start creating more connection, cooperation, joy, and resilience in your home. For more information, check out this flyer and/or email Julie Hohe at support@genmindful.com for details.

As children learn to regulate emotions and learn higher-level skills through the safe space of a supportive caregiver, not only does it strengthen your relationship but it gives you more authority. Your children will want to work with you more than they want to work against you. Here's how. 

One of the hardest parts of parenting is not the learning. It is the unlearning. When yelling is your natural impulse, these three tips can help you channel what you are feeling in a healthy, productive way.