Mindful Moments Blog

Parenthood is hard, especially during these unique times of social distancing, quarantine, forced homeschooling, wiping down our groceries, etc. To our single parent friends, we see you, we celebrate you, and we have got your back! 

In having hard conversations with our kids - whether it be their untamed anger as a toddler, their heartbreak as a teen, or their transition from one gender to another - we strengthen our parent-child bond and equip them with resources for how to handle future situations. Here's how to do it. 

It happens subconsciously, but it happens. Our brain judges and labels every input we receive. And since parenting offers us a constant and endless stream of input, at some point, we stop parenting young human beings and start parenting labels instead. Here's how to break the cycle. 

You know you are a parent if you have ever questioned your qualifications for the job. You may be asking yourself, How do I know I am not messing up my children every time I pitfall into conditioned habits? Whatever your wounding patterns are, these tips can help you embrace your enoughness as a cycle breaker.

If you are in the habit of setting goal based resolutions for the new year that feel more like a “have to” than a “get to”, here are some things to consider: A goal is focused on the future with a specific outcome or external "achievement" in mind whereas intentions are set in the present.

Death is part of life, yet it can be an uncomfortable topic to discuss, especially with our children. Here are 5 tips for parents when talking to their child about death to support their emotional experience and understanding. 

No one is born ashamed. It is a learned, self-conscious emotion. And, often, it is multi-generational. If we aren't aware of our own tendencies to shame, we won't notice when they get triggered. We'll just act them out onto our children, passing shame down to the next generation. This is how we break the cycle. 

Behavior is a symptom, not the problem. And when we focus solely on the symptom, the problems causing these behaviors remain unsolved, and they stack up. So, how do we transform challenging behaviors at home and in the classroom?

Our words have the power to build up our children, nurture and guide them. They also have the power to cripple, shrink, and wound. It is these 5 phrases, spoken by well-intended parents, that tend to miss the mark on paving pathways for self-discipline and emotional regulation. Here's what to say instead. 

Motherhood seemed to come so easy to everyone around me, yet here I was, barely keeping it together. One mom shares how she was re-born after having children. 

Are we collectively destroying the potential of a generation with our mouths?  As parents, we hold many of the keys to our children’s futures. These keys are the words we speak to them. 

Unlike many of our parents who repressed, denied, ignored, or shamed their own feelings, resulting in abusive explosions and emotional neglect, becoming a cycle breaker means that we commit to FACE-ing our emotions with clarity and deep compassion. Here's how to use FACE (Feel, Amplify, Connect, and Embrace), a 4-step process, to break cycles.

What is so special about the montessori parenting style? Learn how Montessori parenting can instill emotional intelligence in your children.

In collaboration with Generation Mindful, Philadelphia's Please Touch Children's Museum takes a bold step forward in creating a world where all children are able to exercise creativity, compassion, confidence, and social-emotional skills as it opens its new exhibit XOXO: The Exhibit About Love And Forgiveness.

During a meltdown moment, these 4 tips are your survival guide. What if I told you that the key to fewer meltdowns in your home was not to suppress them but to let them happen?  Any parent could probably tell ya that big emotions and challenging behaviors are daily (sometimes hourly, or, if you’re like our home, minute-by-minute) occurrences. So it makes good sense that we have some tools to know what to do when our children fall apart.  Why Children Struggle To Calm Down  Emotions are pretty new and alarming to our children who are still pretty new to this being alive thing. They struggle to control impulses, even when they know that certain behaviors are not desirable. They lack the foresight to see ahead to consequences and also the memory capacity to remember a “lesson” you taught five minutes ago.  As such, drowning in our frustration and overwhelm, we often work to make it all make sense. Because even more stressful than a flailing child is that feeling we get when we are at a loss as to why our children are behaving the way they are. We look to close the gap and fill in the missing puzzle pieces. We create narratives that our children are defiant, manipulative, and dramatic.  But what if our children were inherently good? If we came in with that mindsight then we’d begin to see that who our children are and what they do are two different things.  Our children are just being children. They are doing their job … making mistakes, learning about themselves and the world, and feeling their feelings. This isn’t a plot to “get us” like the Boogie Man but rather their road to development.  4 Ways To Get Your Child To Calm Down Now that we know the role of our children, what’s ours? Well, we come in with our sage wisdom, being a guide by the side that they can trust, both in their moments of regulation but also during dysregulation… especially during dysregulation. So, next time your child is exploding like an emotional volcano, give these four tips a go.  SnuggleBuddies® Help Big Emotions & Meltdowns 1. Move to a smaller space.  It doesn’t feel good to feel out of control, especially in front of a crowd. Help your child transition from a large room to a smaller one, from a room with an audience to a quieter space. In removing extra stimulation and influences, your child’s nervous system can shift more quickly. It may sound something like this: “I see this feels hard. I am going to help you to your room where we can sit together. You are safe and I love you.” 2. Validate and empathize with your child.  This is one of our biggest roles as parents. Validating our child’s experiences meets one of the most vital needs for connection, which ultimately leads to regulation. Our children want to know that their feelings, thoughts, and intuition matter, and to take it one step further, they want to know that their experience is real. They want to know that when they are struggling, they won’t be left alone with their overwhelm, which would feel pretty scary (and thus further a meltdown). Sometimes just feeling seen, heard, and understood is the balm our children desire. This may sound like: “Something doesn’t feel good inside of your body. I believe you, and I am here.”  3. Respect your child’s boundaries.  Many times, we are so consumed with what we think we should do or the right script or on giving our children what we didn't receive when we were young that we move further out of our relationship with our kids. Despite our best intentions, we are attempting to control the situation or outcome and control is the contrast to connection. Either way, we can end up inadvertently railroading our child’s boundaries. If your child desires closeness, offer it. If your child is asking for space, honor it.  This may sound like: “You are telling me to go away. I hear you. I will sit outside your closed door. I trust your body to know when it is ready. I am here any way you need me.” 4. Wait it out.  Whether you’re right next to your child or on the other side of the door, give your child the emotional space to feel what they are feeling to the full extent that they are feeling it. This means we aren’t fixing it or rushing them along to the next pleasant emotion. This means that we manage our own discomfort so that we can hold space for theirs. In order to fully process the limbic (emotional) tension in their bodies, they must be allowed to express it. Sometimes that takes two minutes, sometimes ten. Keep holding space without the agenda of gettin’ on to the next thing. As you begin to notice your child shift into a more regulated state, you may choose to touch on the pain point and finish the processing right then by taking a Time-In to discuss what happened, how they felt, and tools for next time, or maybe your child feels ready to move on.  Remember, when it comes to your child, you are the expert. Trust your own intuition to guide you in each meltdown moment. Ask yourself, What do I need right now? What does my child need right now? Use your context clues to give you the answers, because the answers live within you.  

Every child wants to know, do you see my light even when I’m not shining it?

Have you ever been on the receiving end of your child’s angry outburst? It’s hard not to take it personally. But as it turns out, it’s not a result of poor parenting or a sign that your child is on the wrong track. It’s all due to your child’s developing brain.

Rather than storing unnoticed toys in the closet this year, give the children on your list meaningful memories instead. Here are six connection-based gift ideas for ages two and up that we love for the holidays and all year long.