Mindful Moments Blog
Mindful Moments Blog
3 Ways To Transform Your Child's Behavior
by Ashley Patek
This mom was searching for a way to transform her child's misbehavior. And it was these three connection-based tools that did it.
Mindful Moments Blog
To My Strong-Willed And Sensitive Boy
by Ashley Patek
A poem to her son. One mom watches her strong-willed boy drift to sleep and she sees the child under the big emotions and power struggles, and it restores her for whatever tomorrow brings.
Mindful Moments Blog
National Nurses Day: Celebrating A Work Of Heart
by Ashley Patek
National Nurses Day is celebrated annually on May 6th, providing an opportunity to thank nurses for the contributions they offer daily to serve the health and well-being of others, and to educate the public about the important role nurses play in our lives.
Mindful Moments Blog
Foster Families Are Making It Safe For Kids to Feel
by Alex Petrou
One foster family shares how they are managing emotions on a daily basis in raising their five children.
Mindful Moments Blog
Social Distancing Impact on Children
by Ashley Patek
We share parents' top concerns and frustrations about their children’s behaviors during this time of staying home, and tools for navigating regression and other stress responses.
Mindful Moments Blog
Want Your Child to Sleep Better? Do this.
by Rebecca Eanes
A new study concluded that almost half of children in the United States don’t get the recommended nine hours, and their lack of sleep is negatively impacting their development. This tool may change it all.
Mindful Moments Blog
5 Reasons Your Family Needs A Calming Space
by Ashley Patek
Looking for more peace in your home? Start here.
I love having tools in my parenting toolbox. The bigger the belt, the more I feel prepared to handle all the things that come with raising children. And the big heavy-weight tool for my household has been a Calming Space.
I am not saying that (poof!) magically all of your problems are solved. There are still meltdowns (both theirs and mine) and power struggles, but it is so much less. The frequency of my kids’ arguing, my yelling, and the family battles has exponentially declined.
5 Reasons Your Family Needs A Calming Space
What’s that saying, happy wife, happy life … well … happy mom, smoother home. But jokes aside, here are five reasons why your family can benefit from a Calming Space.
1. It meets the need for safety. Safety is a fundamental need. If we want our children to cooperate with us (and decrease power struggles), regulate emotions (work through meltdowns), and learn new skills (like impulse control) then they must first feel safe. When daily rituals are created in a Calming Space, children come to know that they can count on that time with you and that they can be who they are (and feel what they feel) without shame or blame. This builds trust not only with you but within themselves.
2. It meets your child’s need for connection. Connection is the wheel that keeps the Calming Space spinning. Not only do you and your child create this space together but you visit it together, too, especially in the beginning. Unlike a Time-Out where children are sent to isolation with their feelings, a Calming Space is one where co-regulation happens. Your child has access to your nervous system to regulate and process unpleasant sensations and experiences. So snuggle up, read a book, color, explore feeling posters, or any other activity that brings your relationship closer, even if it is just five minutes a day.
3. It meets your child’s need for power. Children who feel they have some agency in their process become empowered, and when they feel empowered, they fight you less for that power. Really reiterate to your child that this is your family space and that everyone has a say here. Engaging in five to ten minutes of child-led play not only fills their connection tank as mentioned above, but it is also a potent way to honor their authenticity. Additionally, as children begin to understand their internal sensations and control their outward behaviors, they feel a sense of governance over their own bodies.
4. It helps you channel your unpleasant emotions. Ever feel like you just need a small pause so that you don’t flip your shit? The Calming Space is that space. Whenever you feel your overwhelm taking over, take a Time-In in your family’s space. Model to your children what it looks like to feel something, name it and choose a calming strategy. They are watching and when we show them that our emotions aren’t scary and contagious, they begin to believe that about theirs too. Of course, we won’t be perfect at this, but the way I figure it is, some of the time is better than none of the time.
5. It grows our child’s brain. At least in a sense. We can’t rush optimal development in our children but we can teach skills that promote it. So every time we connect with our children in this safe space, we help them build somatic awareness and build an emotional vocabulary. The more they learn to understand themselves and share it with another, the more they can connect and heal any hurts that have accumulated throughout the day. This takes time and consistency. Remember, we are dealing with fairly immature brains here. Our leadership paired with neurological development can lead to new circuits that take our kids from blowing up to working through emotions in productive ways. And not just emotions but impulse control, problem-solving, and relationship repair, to name a few.
Our children are never going to have fewer emotions. In fact, they will only get more complex as they get older. But when we stay steadfast in our connection and guidance, they become adults who don’t feel less but who feel their feelings and know what to do with them.
Mindful Moments Blog
Mom Of Autistic Son Thanks Man For His Kindness During Her Son's Meltdown
by Ashley Patek
In the midst of a meltdown, five-year-old Rudy and his mother Natalie Fernando were met with kindness from a stranger. The man's shocking actions helped regulate her child. Fernando shares: When you see a parent and child struggling, offer compassion, not judgment. And that's exactly what Ian Shelley did.
Mindful Moments Blog
10 Tough Emotions Parents Feel But Don't Talk About
by Ashley Patek
Here are 10 feelings you may be feeling as a parent. There’s a good chance you aren’t talking about these feelings because they are the ones we fear others will judge us for, and they are the feelings we criticize ourselves for. It is when we notice and share those feelings that we find our way back to ourselves.
Mindful Moments Blog
Positive Communication with Kids at Every Age
by Rebecca Eanes
These positive communication tips will create a family culture where children and adults alike are spoken to with respect and listened to with love. Children live what they learn at home, and all of their future relationships will benefit from having learned these important and positive skills early in life.
Mindful Moments Blog
Why Post-Its And Planners Aren't Enough
by Suzanne Tucker
Ever work with a student on a really cool organizational plan, only to find it crumbled up at the bottom of backpack? Have you ever tried to teach planning and executive functioning skills to students and they are NOT having it? I know I have!
Over the past 20 years (!) as a school psychologist, I’ve worked with sooooo many students who are shut down to learning any new snazzy tool or idea that adults have for helping them manage their schoolwork.
In this 8-minute mini-lesson you'll learn why even beloved post-its and color coded awesomeness sometimes fall flat…
Download your FREE Plan-Do Tool here!
Interested in more impactful videos and downloadable tools to help you TEACH the top 10 Executive Functioning Skills to children and teens?
Join our Masterclass with Dr Rebecca and put the FUN in Executive FUNctioning!
Mindful Moments Blog
by Ashley Patek
This is one mama's poem about watching her boys grow from babies to young men.
Mindful Moments Blog
Mom Of Two Advocates For Her Neurodiverse Daughters
by Ashley Patek
Natasha is a mama of two neurodiverse daughters and she has one big focus: teaching her girls social-emotional skills, not only to help them express themselves but to advocate for themselves.
Mindful Moments Blog
Ask Andrew: Facing The "I Don't Knows"
by Andrew Patterson
Andrew answers today's question: I ask my daughter something and she replies “I don’t know” even if it is a matter of clear opinion. Like … “Shall we get ice cream? … Why is that?” After I reframe the questions she suddenly knows.
Mindful Moments Blog
I Didn't Make My Kids Sit On Santa's Lap And They Are Better For It
by Ashley Patek
Children are wired to seek approval from their caregivers because it is how they are designed to survive. How we respond as parents to our children’s intuition and their bids to voice their consent greatly impacts their ability to speak their truth, set boundaries, and trust who they are. Read more.
Mindful Moments Blog
Fathers Raising Boys That Feel Safe To Feel
by Ashley Patek
My husband grew up in a home where the men mostly ran away or shut down when it came to emotions, and when he became a father himself, he was determined to break the cycle. This is how he did it.
Mindful Moments Blog
The Day My Son Told Me "Mad is Bad"
by Ashley Patek
When our children believe that unpleasant emotions are "bad", they become unsafe to feel those emotions. However all emotions are sacred and useful. Here's why. Read more.
